I think I might just ramble for half an hour or so. I'm hostage at my desk at the moment with wet nails and my feet soaking in a foot spa with pink water in it. So I'm going to ramble about all the things clogging up my brain.
I've got a lot of stuff to finish at the moment. You know when you need to get a grip but there's so much you just don't know where to start? You'll laugh when I tell you it's nothing important. I have several crochet projects and a cross stitch that I need to complete, I have a book that I'm half way through and I'm thinking about starting an A Level online but I keep telling myself you can't even finish a cross stitch of a frog so how do you expect to teach yourself an A Level?
At the moment, I feel like I'm not really enjoying what I do. It's not uncommon, I know. I just wish it was easier to change or learn new skills. A Levels aren't an issue - they're easily accessible online but what do they achieve on their own? You then need a degree, I already have a degree, so I need to fund another degree. I don't even know if I have the right temperament to self study for a year or two, I often have these fetishes for a few months then move on to something else. Wouldn't it be nice if we knew beyond doubt whether something is achievable or not?
Let me tell you about the internal battle I'm having with regards to education. Only a few months ago I very nearly applied to start a distance learning Masters course with the University of Nottingham in English Studies. The programme fit perfectly with my degree, there were choices in Literature and Linguistics, it couldn't have complimented my degree more if it tried. Two years, part-time and I would have had a Masters degree. But I just didn't apply, I'd written out the personal statement, I'd uploaded copies of my certificates but I just didn't send it. Can't really put my finger on why. The £10,000 fee did contribute slightly but I know that had I really wanted to do it, it wouldn't have bothered me.
However, I can't shake the feeling that I went down the wrong path with English. I continued with it after school because English was the subject I did best in. It was certainly not my favourite but I did well in it so that must be the subject for me? I think I chose wrong. I got an A and a B in the Englishes. I got two Bs in Science. I loved Science but I new it would be hard in college and I presumed English would be easier, thanks to my A. In hindsight, I went to a shockingly bad school, we had no Physics teacher for the 2 GCSE years and no Maths teacher for 1 of the years so those Bs are kind of miraculous. We did have an excellent English teacher.
Now, I can't move past the idea of getting back into Science. Even if I can't have a career in the subject, I would like to further my knowledge.
What shall I do? Spend two years doing a masters and probably furthering my career or spend two years learning an A Level for fun? The A Level would be Physics by the way.
The water has stained my feet pink.